crazyjane: (knowledge)
[personal profile] crazyjane
This semester I'm taking an English unit titled, 'Gothic Literature and its Children'. We get to explore the joys of Dracula, Frankenstein, The Monk and a smattering of Poe. Then we depart the Romantic period for some modern Gothic tales - or more accurately, television and film. These include Bela's wonderfully overacted (and constantly lampooned) Dracula, True Blood and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

We do get to study one purportedly Gothic tale, though, and herein lies the motivation for my cunning plan.

It's Twilight.

Yes, you read that right. Possibly the single worst Young Adult novel I've ever read (and I've reviewed some howlers). For that matter, one of the worst books of any kind - it's a toss-up between Meyer's execrable effort and Dan Brown's misbegotten bestseller.

Apparently, the lecturer thinks it qualifies as a modern Gothic text.

Now, if I have to sit through lectures and tutorial on this piece of literary rubbish, I intend to take revenge for it. Having done some cursory reading in the kind of lit-crit most often associated with Romantic Gothic literature, I have formulated a strategy designed to break the brains of both tutors and the annoying little Twihards who will undoubtedly take this subject so that they can display their 'Team Wussbag/Braindead' t-shirts.

I'm going to queer Twilight.

With extreme prejudice.

[personal profile] emilyjane, I know you're destined for the same horror, so I suggest we team up on this. There's a certain satisfaction to be gained in a two-pronged assault.

And you too, O my flist. I know there are a lot of you out there with filthy, twisted minds, and I'm appealing to you now. (You know who you are.)

Help me come up with the most outrageous - yet plausible-sounding - possible queer interpretations of Twilight. I don't care how wild these theories are, as long as I can make them sound at least vaguely scholarly.

And I will report back to LJ when the havoc is duly wreaked, and the tiny minds of the Twihards are well and truly shattered, so we can all share the fun. Those of you who remember my occasional postings from the time I was tutoring know the sort of thing I mean.

So, please, let's go for it, what do you say?

My initial thought is to run the argument that the 'vampire' and 'werewolf' are symbols for outcast homoerotic desire in the oppressively heteronormative world that is northern Washington State. We can tell it's oppressively hetero-etc because it's always dark there, get it, dark? - and just look at how gender roles are reinforced. Why, poor Bella even has to do all the chores and become a surrogate wife for her Dad! In such an environment, the 'vampire' and 'werewolf' are the outsiders, both of whom seek to possess Bella in order to legitimise their existences and rejoin the hetero-etc world ...

You get the idea ...

I'm going to stop now, I'm giggling too much.
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