crazyjane: (moondark)
[personal profile] crazyjane
You've probably read a review, or an interview with an author who talks about having killed off a favourite character, or finished an epic novel. That author often mentions that they felt 'devastated', or that they cried.

I've always found that a little hard to believe. I mean, c'mon, you know how it's going to end - you're writing the words that do that. And isn't just a little convenient for publicity purposes? Sounds great in an interview when J.K. Rowling talks about crying when she wrote the last few lines of Harry Potter and the Deathly Prose - end of an era, epic conclusion, blah blah blah.

Yeah, colour me cynical.

And colour me now backpedalling frantically and offering something of a shamefaced apology. :)

Back in 2009 I started writing a cycle of poems about the Greek Goddess Persephone - not a retelling of myth as such, but more exploring a bunch of ideas like her relationship with her mother, how a rape victim could end up deciding to stay with her rapist half the year, what would an experience like that do to someone, etc.

I hadn't finished it by the end of my course at NMIT, so I submitted what I had and pretty much forgotten about it.

Fast-forward to a couple of months ago, when I noticed Neos Alexandria was producing a devotional anthology about Persephone. This is the same group that published a whole bunch of similar books, each dedicated to a different deity - I had a devotional to Hekate accepted for one. Even better, the Persephone book was being edited by [personal profile] sephatta, who's the most devoted and knowledgeable person about that Goddess I've ever known.

So I got to thinking ... maybe I could finish my cycle of poems. And then nothing much happened.

This morning I got email asking if I was still interested in submitting for the anthology. I hauled out the unfinished stuff and my notes and took a look. What the hell, it's worth a try, right?

I finished the cycle about half an hour ago. And as I wrote the last poem, I was getting more and more upset. When I finally wrote the last couple of lines, I burst into tears - not because it was over, but because of what I'd written.

Yeah, I kinda devastated myself.

So major apology to all those authors for thinking they were just making a shameless marketing statement.

I'm just, y'know, gonna go and hug somebody now.

(Also ... I wrote poetry! For the first time in literally months!)
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